Q: How do you Flora & Fauna? A: With a South Texas Inspired Frock-A

On the agenda this weekend is a (drrrrrumrrrrollll): themed par-tay!!! During my college glory days of yore I never understood those girls who would shoot death stares in my (ahem) social chair direction as I would contemplate all the themed party options aloud. Sure, wearing normal clothes is easier, but are we not the members of the "the first Greek letter fraternity known among women"? If we are the hard-working, goal-oriented femme fatales we make ourselves out to be on paper should we not also flaunt our skills on our person while rising to meet a dress code challenge?! You may think I digress here, but when a themed party invitation lands on my lap I channel that same go-getter attitude I did back in 2010, when I spent hours glue-gunning strips of tissue paper to an American Apparel dress in order to be the most authentic piñata frat city had ever seen (we will save that photo evidence for a rainy day). 

"Flora and Fauna" is the theme of choice for Saturday's shindig, which will take place at a ranch in South Texas. Now I will admit this particular theme, being so broad as to encompass the entire plant and animal kingdom, could get a little tricky. But by drawing inspiration from the venue's iconic ecosystem (in this case, peacocks, cattle, cacti & butterflies), not only do you get bonus points for sticking a theme within a theme (meta, baby), but you also up your chances of having a photo opp with the living, breathing creature you're emulating (helloOo, likes). Got a good themed party in the queue? Holla at your gurl - we can have a beautiful-symbiotic-inspiration-filled-brain-storming-session (I pinky promise to not to be as overwhelming as I sound).

Feather Top - Pucci// Feather Skirt - Alice McCall// Feather Drop Earrings - Marte Frisnes// Peacock Clutch - Kate Spade// Teal Heels - Marco de Vicenzo// Horn Earrings - Katherine Cordero// Embroidered Crop Top - Josie Natori// Suede Pants - Theory// Calf Hair Clutch - Rebecca Minkoff// Bone Heels - Alexander McQueen// Pink Organza Flower Top - Bambah// Metallic Green Pants - Prada// Cactus Purse - Charming Charlie// Cactus Slides - Kate Spade// White Flower Earrings - Marni// Butterfly Dress - Yuliya Magdych// Butterfly Clutch - Nancy Gonzalez// Gold Mules - Loeffler Randall

Make One-Pieces Great Again

This time last year I was in the initial stages of gearing up the stress factory that was my body before the bar exam and wedding planning. A year later, the most "stressful" thing on today's forecast is deciding what food court vendor I should visit for lunch (yes, my indecisiveness actually brings me more anxiety than an assignment deadline). This is all to say that the bikinis my pale-shivering-with-nerves-but-maybe-I'll-take-a-study-break body rocked last summer aren't necessarily doing me a favor this summer. Which is why as of late I've gone full throttle one-piece, and am writing to convince you to do the same. 

The advantages of the full-piece bathing suit are plentiful, so as not to bore you (don't we love discussing bathing suit bodies during our lunch hour?!) I'll highlight my favorite benefits, sparknote style:

  1. You still get tan in all the right - and more importantly - necessary places. Is there truly a need to tan the stomach? It's not like you're going out to dinner with belly exposed and if you are then there are other, more pertinent issues you may (seriously) need to attend to.
  2. The cover-up situation is at its easiest: just throw on a bottom. And big earrings (to keep your ear lobes from getting wet!!!)
  3. Something about a one-piece helps tone down your otherwise in-your-face obnoxious personality with a vibe of modest, old-school flare. Even if you sound like a seagull from up close, from far away you still look like a vintage bathing beauty.  
  4. Perhaps the greatest perk of all: indulge in all the croissants, rosé, and butter-based substances your little heart desires since the spandex of the suit works as a natural sucking-in mechanism for your tummy. Give this face to all the poor souls in string bikinis who look at you with envious longing as you take a big 'ole bite. You know I did. 

Tassel Earrings - Hart Hagerty// Garnet Cat Eye Glasses - Le Specs// Gingham Bathing Suit - Solid & Striped// Light Blue Culottes - Club Monaco// Flower Slides - Zara// Red Lipstick - YSL (Le Rouge)// Rose Mirrored Sunglasses - Le Specs// Bustier Bathing Suit - Tory Burch// Pink Flower Earrings - Kate Spade//  Pink Shorts - Paper London// Scarf - Pucci// White Bathing Suit - Michael Kors// Black Shorts - J. Crew// Red Earrings - Ken Samudio// Black Round Sunglasses - Le Specs// Black Bathing Suit - Same Swim// Floral Pants - Zara// Monogram Straw Tote - Mariella Vilar

(filtered) photographic evidence

(filtered) photographic evidence

Disco Fields of French Florals

Remember how I mentioned yesterday that while boppin' around St. Tropez boutiques I was jotting down the names of brands and designers off the tags of some fab frenchy finds? Well pictured below are a few of the style souvenirs I brought back for ya -  it's a organza floral brocade silken lamé extravaganza and each is meant to be worn under the soft, glamorous glow of a revolving disco ball. It even says so on the tags (if my nonexistent understanding of the French language serves me right). 

Polka Dot Brocade Top - Nadya Dyzak// Polka Dot Brocade Shorts - Nadya Dyzak// White Floral Top - Roseanna// Black Floral Skirt - Roseanna// Sunglasses - Dolce & Gabbana// Metallic Pink Shirt - Michel Klein// Flower Lace Top - Nadya Dzyak// Yellow Pants - Nadya Dzyak// Lamé Ruffle Top - Roseanna// Lamé Floral Pants - Roseanna// Pink Brocade Dress - Manoush// Lilac Brocade Dress - Nadya Dzyak

Dress Me like one of those French Girls

Whether I (or you) like it or not, I am back from my travels and officially back in your lives. My radio silence had purpose, as I treated my trip to St. Tropez as part-vacay, part shopping research mission, feeling a responsibility to contribute (however so insignificantly) to cracking the forever unsolvable "how to do anything like a French girl" code.

In case you were worried I would return as a too-cool-for-school-I-summer-in-the-south-of-France-and-have-lost-interest-in-my-overexposed-blogging-American-ways, fear not. As if my overdoing it on the Instas weren't enough, find comfort in knowing that upon entering each store and being greeted with a "Bonjour madame!", I responded with deer-in-headlight look and a gringafied "Bawn-jur! HELLO!". That, together with my creepy habit of taking photos of all the tags and brand names (research!), was probs enough to solidify my last place in line to the cool French girl club. C'est la vie.

Our first stop on my Tour de Tropez takes us to Rue Gambetta, where we find the Chelsea-based boutique Baar & Bass, whose racks are lined with some of the chicest beach-to-bar ensembles. Silk tops and jumpsuits, embroidered smock dresses, and big crochet accessories are just a few of the necessary elements needed to master the bon vivant look of ze French Riviera. Just add a glass of rosé and you're already one step closer to being a little less Rachel Dratch, a little more Bridge Bardot. 

Rose Mirrored Glasses - Krewe// Leopard Blouse - Rixo London// Satin Shorts - Paloma Blue// French Candles - Bella Freud// Pink Halter Jumpsuit - Seren London// Red Gingham Top - Innika Choo// Red Gingham Shorts - Innika Choo// Fruit Hoops - Mercedes Salazar// Red Tassel Top - Baar & Bass// Blue Hoops - Mercedes Salazar// Green Print Jumpsuit - Seren London// Denim Embroidered Top - Innika Choo// Denim Embroidered Shorts- Innika Choo// Pink Hoops - Mercedes Salazar// Blue Tassel Top - Baar & Bass// Espadrilles - Mint & Rose (Blue, Tan, Yellow)// Embroidered Smock Dresses - Innika Choo (Blue Gingham, Lemon, Peach)// Evil Eye Bracelet - Alexandra B. 

Q: What should I wear to the Stewards of the Wild Zoo Party tomorrow? A: Something Wild (insert smug face emoji here)

PSA: If you are: 1) In Houston, 2) looking to have a wild & crazy time tomorrow afternoon and 3) want to up your street cred while also supporting a good cause, look no further than the Stewards of the Wild "Keep Houston Wild" event at the Houston Zoo (yes yes yes).  Do you have anything better to do on a Thursday afternoon than to share your time with the animals and some of the leading figures in conservation and habitat management? I didn't think so. Get the deets and an idea of what to wear below. 

Cheetah Heels - Ann Taylor// White Cat Clutch - Loewe// Khaki One Shoulder Top - Sea NY// Gingham Crop Top - Tome// Tribal Print Skirt - Isa Arfen// White Snake Earrings - Lako Bukia// Pink Elephant Purse - Loewe// Pink Pom Pom Heel - Ann Mashburn// Snake Dress - MSGM// Teal Tassel Heels - Katy Perry Collection// Cheetah Pants - Stella McCartney// Beige Hoops - Mercedes Salazar// Zebra Earrings - Mercedes Salazar// Jaguar Earrings - Mercedes Salazar// Parrot Clutch - Serpui// Toucan Clutch - Serpui// Tiger Jacquard Dress - Giamba// Tiger Print Dress - Paule Ka// Feather Earrings - Lizzie Fortunato// Parrot Earrings - Elizabeth Cole// Zebra Heels - Gucci// Khaki Halter Dress - Ulla Johnson