I started this blog-of-mine in February of 2017 after many a sleepless first-year associate night drove me to the conclusion I needed a hobby that would keep me entertained and busy at the most haphazard of hours. I truly just wanted a creative outlet - somewhere to funnel my bad online shopping habit, love of dressing up, and desire to create for any kind of audience. I can still remember sitting on the balcony of my then-apartment with my then-newlywed husband, crying, and struggling to find the words to verbalize my very (very) first-world, pseudo-millennial inner turmoil: I… I… I just want to do something that makes me happy!
I hoped this project would make me happy, and that it surely does. But I also got so much more out of it than what I could have hoped for at the time I started it. I would have never guessed that receiving positive reactions to the collages would feel more gratifying than meeting a deadline or billing x amount of hours. If you would’ve told me that I’d eventually be on rewardStyle and that the first dollar I made through the platform (thanks to you!) would leave me screaming like I just won a car on Oprah, I wouldn’t have believed you. I could have never guessed that I’d eventually be able to partner with a website like Over the Moon, where I’d (who, me?!) be able to contribute to a team of seasoned fashion veterans and provide content to an audience the likes of which I’d only dream of.
But it wasn’t the shopping and collaging and posting that made me happy - it was the connections and relationships I formed by doing those things that really revved my endorphins. Getting to know entrepreneurs and being invited to partake in the infectious energy they put into a new project, brand, or product was extremely cool. But even more cool than that was getting to know the followers - those who commented, those who shopped, those who sent a message asking for advice or my (my?!) input. Each interaction I experienced via this blog was way worth the time and energy it took to make it happen and provided me with a feeling of content far greater than the melodramatic girl in tears on the balcony could’ve ever wished for. If you’re reading, I can’t thank you enough for that.
But now I’m choosing to pump the brakes on Up the Get Up, because I’m getting ready to take on my greatest creative endeavor yet: motherhood. I just can’t imagine coming home from work (yep, I’m still billing) and yapping at my not-so-newlywed-yet-still-very-patient husband, “will you get the baby?! I need to finish this collage!” … and something tells me all the positives I get from the blog would turn negative ‘real quick if I did. Although my expectations (and hormones and body and everything) are all over the place, I am confident that I’ll similarly experience moments in the upcoming months that I can’t possibly imagine or believe now. I just know that to truly make the most of it - to relish each interaction and maximize all feelings of fulfillment with my baby boy - I have to take a step back and put my pencils down (or in my case, the Photoshop away).
It’s hard to verbalize how I feel about pausing (I won’t say closing because I refuse for this to be el fin - it’s more like a see you in a lil’ bit, which really might be awhile… but we sugarcoatin’) this chapter from my grab bag of pregnancy emotions - it’s definitely bittersweet, although I’m excited for what’s to come. Happy doesn’t even begin to describe it. I can only hope that whatever comes next - after many a sleepless new-mom night - brings as much inspiration and contentment as this has… and that you’ll still be here.
So for now… we’ll call this my last dance: one last collage, with the wardrobe I’d wear for my grand finale (with no less than four costume changes, *obviously*).